Control Freak

I decided to go to the Dr last Thursday to get some tests done. I didn't have any signs of pregnancy, but since I was only a few days away from my AF from possibly showing, I knew the Dr would be able to tell if I was pregnant already. Well, our efforts in Maui came up empty.
I wasn't devastated because I pretty much knew I wasn't, but loosing that hope was kinda sad.

For those who have ever worked at getting pregnant, its a crazy emotional and mini planning cycle. There is a two week period where you think and hope you're pregnant. You act like you are and make decisions based on the idea that you could be - just in case. So then you get used to the idea that you could be and question everything you feel in your body. I can't tell you how many times I checked to see if my breasts were sore. My husband thought I was wierd.

Anyway, to take a few steps back: I've been feeling tired and on top of that my BBT has been low over the last 6 weeks so I decided to research what all those symptoms could mean. The only thing I could find was that I could have hypothyroidism. So I started to follow some of the recommendations to naturally treat this possible prognosis. Did you know that not all salt is iodized? Well, I learned that I should have that in my diet and went out and bought new salt, ate more protein, etc. When we were in Hawaii, I ate a lot of fish, which was also recommended. Well, my temps never went up.

I didn't take my thermometer to Hawaii because I just wanted to relax. I did use the other ovulation signs to make sure I was ovulating. I've only sporadically checked my BBT since being home to help reduce my preoccupaion with my cycle. But I totally am... even if I'm not checking my temp daily. I can't help it.

With the lingering thoughts in my head that there may be something "off" about me which could mean difficulty getting pregnant, I had to go to the dr and get some of my concerns addressed.
I totally went prepared with my questions and with the idea that I'm probably not pregnant. I got my results online this weekend. The sweet thing is, my thyroid is fine. I had slightly high blood pressure (I think that was because the doc was 35 min late and it was making me mad) and low potassium. As far as the doc could tell, nothing that should be causing me to not get pregnant.

So I have my answers... eat more banana's, broccoli, spinach, avacado and strawberries (but I eat those almost everyday anyway) and relax. Relax, relax, relax.

I think I have asked God for patience more than I have ever prayed for anything in my whole life. I think the conclusion I'm coming to is that I need to be more obedient and leave it in His hands. I keep on asking Him for patience and to let Him take care of this, and then I keep on taking it back to try to control it. I need to "let go and let God".... sigh.... I'm such a control freak

Our Time in Maui

Tim and I had an amazing time in Maui! It was just what we needed: Sun, Sand, Fun, and Relaxation. We considered it our 2nd honeymoon.
I asked Tim what his favorite part of our trip was and he said, “you” which I thought was sweet of course, but I know both of our favorite moment was during our sunset dinner boat cruise. Before the boat ride, we spent a few hours in Lahaina eating at the best burger place in the world called, “Cheeseburger in Paradise” and also did a bit of shopping. When we were on the boat, the DJ announced our anniversary, we met some really nice people and sat on the bow (sp?) of the boat and watched the sun set.
Our hardest decisions each day were, “where are we going to eat?” and “Do we want to beach it or pool it today?” We spent a bunch of time in the ocean and did some snorkeling. We also took a late night tour of the other side of Black Rock and almost found our selves in a water trap on the golf course. We climbed some trees and I took about 350 photos. Besides the overall beauty of Maui and the warmth and beauty of the water, I’d have to say my favorite part of Maui is all of the beautiful flowers and the fragrance they put in the air. I’m addicted to the smell of real plumeria…. Ahhh… I can almost smell it now.
Going back to work of course was difficult, as it always is after vacation, but work was truly out of control and I’m sad to say that by Thursday I lost my “Maui buzz”. Oh well, we’ll be back again sometime.
Tim and I are hopeful that our “efforts” during our getaway will result in a Maui baby, but that is in God’s hands and I’m trying really hard not to focus too much on it. It’s His timing, not ours and I get it…. I just keep praying that God continues to prepare my body and us for our next pregnancy.
Because I was in paradise, I didn’t send out my Thankful Thursday two weeks ago so below is the last two weeks combined.

7/23/09 Thankful Thursday
~A great, relaxing and fun time with my hubby in Maui
~Nicole and Brian watching Griffey while we were away
~getting a nice tan even though I was faithful with sunscreen
~Xanax for flying
~Having a great 4th with family and friends
~Seeing New Kids on the Block in concert which fulfilled my childhood dream
~Hanging out with Anita and her friends/family the day before the 4th
~Lunch with Ashley where she revealed she is engaged… yay!

Ready for Vacation!

Yeah! Tim and I are less than a week away until we leave for Hawaii. Our last vacation was when we got married in June. And lets be honest, if you’ve gotten married – taking time off for a wedding is not the same as actually being on vacation. We are SO in need of this! Especially with Tim working every other weekend and me working one Saturday a month. We really don’t get quality time together. This will be fun and relaxing and it will allow us some real QT to reconnect! We are also hoping this will result in much needed rest for my body (and mind) in hopes we’ll be able to get pregnant.

I had stopped drinking coffee for a good 5-6 weeks or so 2.5 months ago and then found myself slowly letting it back into my morning routine since Tim and I decided to stop Trying until we go to Hawaii. Since today is my last day of work, this will also be my last day for coffee. I hope this withdrawal will be easier than my first two! I’ve read-and I’ve been told- it’s safe to have some caffeine before and after you are pregnant, but c’mon - I’ll do anything and everything to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. I’ve continued to take my prenatal vitamins and eat broccoli and spinach everyday. The past 3 weeks I’ve also had 4-5 servings of fruits and veggies just about everyday. Obviously that’s healthy for me (and all of us) to do anyway, but it’s really helped with me loosing the last few pounds.

Well, ALOHA and have a fund and safe 4th of July!!


7/2 Today I am thankful for:

Today being my last day of work until I start vacation (Beef recalls and phone systems going down has not made my preparing to be off work for 11 days easy!)
5 days until I get to fulfill my childhood dream of seeing New Kids on the Block. HANGIN’ TOUGH!
6 days til we leave for Hawaii
I got to talk to my niece for the first time for her 2nd birthday yesterday. She speaks so well now!
The amazing weather we’re having
Having a blast at Asa and LaSheika’s beautiful wedding last Saturday
Getting to hang out with Kimmy and Billy twice last weekend.
Always having a good conversations with Anita on our lunch dates


6/25 today I am thankful for:

~My sister Breanna and her husband received some good news
~My friend LaSheika (bride to be in 2 days!) wasn’t badly hurt in a car accident
~That it’s Thursday! (seriously- rough week! Ready for Friday!)
~Had a fun time at my friend Stephanie’s birthday party last Saturday
~My T-mobile rebate gift card finally came
~That I met my original goal weight this week!