26 weeks

I don’t know how I’m still awake, let alone able to put a sentence together, but I’m going to try. Today marks 26 weeks.
This is going to be a long post!
Here is what the “officials” say about little Lake’s development thus far:
The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches from head to heel. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days.Your wee babe's eyelids have finally opened. In addition to taking in their first visual impressions of their comfy amniotic-filled studio, your little human-bean recently acquired the ability to move their head around and your little super star’s head hair is starting to grow in! Your wee piggy's toenails have recently grown in and they're still slowly piling up fat beneath their still-loose-n-wrinkly skin.

Towards the end of last week I started feeling decent. The antibiotics were kicking in, making it possible to finally breath through both nostrils. My chiro has also been doing some pressure points to help relieve the congestion that has been plaguing my face for weeks. Sunday I felt well enough (and had my taste back) to use our gift card to go out to eat. It was awesome to get out of the house! Sunday night came around and I started feeling like I was coming down with another cold. YES, ANOTHER COLD! (Cuz 30 days of non stop crud wasn't enough)

So far this cold has not been as bad, however I cant breath through my nose and I sneeze constantly. And the blowing of my nose for weeks on end have left my nose and lips so raw. I’m one hot mess.

Monday morning I was dealing with escalated member issues all morning. In the afternoon I felt the cramping coming on again. My first thought was that maybe my cramping has to do with stress coupled with the fact my body has been trying fight a cold for over a month while growing a baby! I took a long lunch and came back to work about 2.5 hours later.

Then yesterday the cramping hit me like a ton of bricks. I woke up feeling a little weird, but I had breakfast and had Kaydriana take a shower with me. Part of our shower routine is that when we are done washing up, I plug up the tub and fill it with water so she can play while I get ready. We sing and she pretends to swim, it’s one of the highlights in my day. Anyway, I get out of the shower and I sit on the toilet (seat down – I wouldn’t share THAT much info with you!) and the cramping just comes on quick. I breath and try to asses what it is that I’m feeling and sure enough, the cramping is undeniable. I burst into tears. Because my bathroom is on the 3rd floor and Tim was on the bottom level, I had to call him on my cell and ask him to come get Kaydriana out of the tub so that I could go lay down. I ended up going to work around 2pm. The cramping had subsided, but left me feeling beat up and weary.

And just a note about me and work- the reason I struggle with working when maybe I shouldn’t be, is for good reason. I am a manager and when healthy I’m typically working 45-50 hours a week. I am counted on to be here to close down the building M-W and I have a large team of people who count on me to run the business. I’ve always taken great pride in being one of the youngest managers ever to be promoted at corporate and before becoming pregnant with Kaydriana, was counted on to say yes to anything because I was so dedicated. While my dedication to motherhood is now stronger, I still want to do a good job and not let anyone down. My boss says she understands that and I’m supported by my director and our overall GM (because they know my track record). I was asked that if I’m not feeling well, if possible to either come in late or take a long lunch so I can close the building and not have to ask anyone else to do that for me. As I am able, I figure that is the least that I could do. Additionally, I’m trying to save as much of my vacation and sick pay as possible to extend my maternity leave. Since I’m salaried, as long as I work part of the day, I get my full day of pay.

So, now that that is out of the way… back to yesterday. I text a few friends to ask them for prayers because I was feeling so discouraged about the cramping. I feel like I can’t accomplish anything. One of my friends, a pastor, text me back this message that really helped me focus back onto giving this whole situation up to God: “Press into Him and take refuge under the shadow of His mighty wings. Close to Him is where want to be and the only thing that needs to be accomplished. Be encouraged and surrender your will to His. His plans are far greater than ours. Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you.” At that moment I prayed that God keep this baby safe ( I pray that prayer daily) and help me to surrender control of this pregnancy, because the fact is, I am not in control. If I am put on bed rest, I want to be able to accept it and know that this is God’s will for this pregnancy. I felt a peace come over me and I just embraced what was. So as much as I want to know what is causing the cramping and try to avoid it, clearly there is no rhyme or reason and I need to stop getting so frustrated and angry.

Today is Wednesday and I have no cramping (yay!) but I didn’t sleep at all. So there were tears today, but tears of being so unbelievably tired. I’ve decided, tears are okay. But being frustrated and discouraged every moment that something isn’t right, is not okay.

Kaydriana has been sleeping well in her bedroom. Last week Tim finally got her napping in there too. However, he did reveal to me he had been giving her a binky! Cheater!!! So this weekend I had put her down to nap with no binkies and while one bed time she cried for her binky, we’ve been mostly successful without it. Last night the poor thing was up crying through out the night. At 2 am when she woke again and didn’t go back to sleep on her own, I tried to sooth her. I sat on the ground and rocked her to sleep, but she woke up screaming again. When I got her calmed down enough she was asking for “Titi” (Griffey) and I told her he was nigh-night. Then she asked for daddy. Again, told her he was nigh-night. Then she said, “I go bite-a” her way of asking for a bite of something that I’m eating. So I asked if she was hungry and she said, “yeah”. I was hearing her tummy make noises earlier, but she had burped so I thought it was just gas. Turns out, it was her tummy growling. So went down stairs and had a little snack and she finally went to bed without a peep. I look forward to her communication becoming much stronger and more reliable :)
And I totally forgot to take pictures of her room again. Maybe next week...

25 weeks!

Today I am 25 weeks (according to WTE), but my OB says I am 25 weeks and 5 days. Really, I don’t understand why when all the sites I’ve inputted my conception date give me a due date of 6/6. Anyway…

Here is my 25 week belly photo:

WTE says:
Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half, but he’s beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he'll start to look more and more like a newborn. He's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture. From another site: The good news is: if your child were to be born premature, they’d likely survive without much trauma as their lungs started producing “surfactant” last week, which means their tiny respiratory system is getting stronger with each passing day. Your baby should be scootching slowly out of the breech position (head upright, with their butt-n-legs down by your pelvis) and start rotating around for a head-first exit through the birth canal.

Last night I had to got to Babies R Us to buy diapers ( I had a gift card) and saw some of the cutest little boy outfits. While I don’t think I’ll ever have us much fun shopping for boys clothes as I do girls, I just thought these were so stinkin’ cute!!

Today I was experiencing more discomfort. Not so much cramping, but pain and overall just not feeling right and I slept horribly! I called my OBs office and wanted to make sure I was doing everything that I should be doing. I was told that I should come in to be checked by a mid-wife to get some of my concerns addressed and be checked out. The mid wife was great! So patient, understanding and informative.

She measured me, listened for the heartbeat, asked me questions about how I was feeling the last few days, etc. She then asked me if I wanted my cervix checked. I told her I did for the peace of mind. I told her that with my position at work, I can’t simply stay home if I don’t feel good. I need to know that as long as I am not and the baby is not in danger I can make an informed decision whether or not to go into work. She totally got it. She checked me, cervix is tight and long, and she took a sample of fluid to make sure there wasn’t the preterm labor protein being produced. She is also checking on a UTI to rule that out. I am still supposed to go home and rest if I experience the menstrual like cramps, but the burning pain I felt today was from round ligament pain. Nothing serious to be concerned with today. Also, she set my mind at ease that if the cramping returns or doesn't stop, that just because I might have to go to L&D, doesn't mean I'm gonna be giving birth. They have a drug they can inject me with to stop the contractions, phew!!

This Sunday we finally moved the rest of Kaydriana’s stuff into her big girl bedroom. Well, Tim moved it, I organized it. I didn’t have time to take a picture of her room yet, but I’ll do it for the next post.

We really have to be careful with what we DO and SAY around Kaydriana. I was licking my finger while turning the pages of my vogue magazine and when I got up, she copied me! Also pointing to shoes saying, "cute!". When I put her to bed that night and gave her a book, she licked her finger again to turn the page. My little cutie :)

Some complications

This will just be a quick post regarding the last few horrible days.

Last Thursday I was feeling nauseas and had menstral like cramping. I remember reading that cramping during your 3rd trimester can be cause for concern so as soon as I got a break at work I called my OB. Sure enough, they were concerned enough to tell me to go home, drink lots of fluids and put my feet up. If the cramps became more severe, frequent or didn't go away with rest I was to go to Labor and Delivery.

That scared me!

So after a few hours in bed the cramping subsided and that was a relief. Friday morning came, I was feeling tender, but no cramps. That was until I went to my doctor about my 2nd sinus infection in two months. I had to park far away at Costco to pick up my RX, which wasn't ready and walk back. By the time I got back to work and sat down, the cramps started back up. Back home I went.

Saturday I had a little bit of cramping, and Sunday morning I just had a twinge in the morning. Today is Monday and I've been very careful and have had no cramping, thank God!

On top of those concerns, I've had a very painful distraction thanks to my sinus infection. The new RX I'm on has bad side effects which I feel: abdominal cramping (not cool when I'm already cramping) and nausea. Also, the right side of my face hurt so bad that it literally felt that someone with a boot stepped on my face. I was almost in tears as the Tylenol would wear off. My gums were swollen, teeth throbbing, I haven't been able to taste or smell anything for over a week and can't hear out of my right ear. Ugh! Oh and so exciting, I have a cold sore to go along with it. AWESOME

But thankfully today the pressure has subsided a bit, and I didn't have to take any pain meds. Praying tomorrow I still have no cramping and that I can taste my food.

Last Week of Second Trimester/Big Girl Transition!

First, I’m happy to report, I haven’t had any heartburn since last week! I’ve been a good girl and have taken my meds each day and stayed away from anything remotely spicy.

Our little man is kicking like crazy! One moment he is doing a jig on my bladder, the next moment he is up near my stomach. It’s like he swimming from the deep to the shallow end of a pool! Here is an update from What to Expect:
Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. He's almost a foot long.

Last Friday was Kaydriana’s last day of daycare so she is spending some QT with daddy. We decided that Saturday night would be her first night to sleep in her big girl room and bed, a huge change! She went to sleep the first two nights with no problem, but both times she woke up at 3am.

The first night I thought she had slept well, only to find daddy and Kaydriana laying on the couch downstairs, watching TV. When she apparently got up and started crying, Tim opted to taking her downstairs to watch cartoons. That certainly wasn’t going to be the solution on going. So night #2, I tell him, we just need to let her cry and she may just fall back to sleep on the floor. So Tim listened a little too well to my directions and had his headphones on, and promptly turned them up when she started to cry at 3am. After a ½ hour of Kaydiana crying, knocking on her door and asking for, “mommy”, “daddy”, I decided I probably needed to go down there. I lay down with her in her bed and rub her back and she is unable to calm herself down, still huffing and sniffling. After about 10-15 minutes, I give in and put her in her crib and she goes right to sleep.

So for night #3 I tell Tim that I think we shouldn’t let her cry more than 10-15 minutes so she doesn’t get sooo worked up that we can’t calm her down, but to reassuringly put her back in her bed, pat her on the back for a few minutes and then leave. Well, night #3 was a success! She slept in until 6am!! This morning she slept only until 5:15, but better than 3am!

While taking my lunches at my desk I started reading up on some toddler behavior. I’ve mentioned in a previous post before where I’ve been told to use my instincts when it comes to parenting. And while I do do that when I need to, I figure there are experts out there who I can gleam some insight from. So going forward, I might share some developmental stages as they pertain to Kaydriana.

Kaydriana has been saying, “I love you” for a few weeks now and at times is very cuddly and loving. Here is what WTE says about her age and expressing love:

When your toddler cuddles with you, she is showing that she knows you are always there to provide her comfort. This is her active way of saying "I love you." This confident display of love can be the best part of your day!

I found this interesting as well:

Some toddlers have a stuffed animal or blanket that goes where they go. Others take different objects each time they leave the house. These transitional objects (or loveys) represent you and your love, especially in your absence. Your child loves you so much that she wants to keep you close. Dr. Shimm also explains that these objects help your toddler feel safe, "A piece of you is with her. That gives her security." These transitional objects help her be away from you while still keeping you close by.

When taking Kaydriana to daycare she often wanted to leave the house with something she was playing with. Often times it’s one of my bracelets. Thankfully I never had to fight them out of her hand once she got to daycare, but I think it’s sweet that its probably another way of her expressing her love for me.

Here is a 24 week shot of my belly. Yes, my eyes have purple bags and are puffy. I’ve had a non-stop cold for a month that I think has now lead to a second sinus infection within a month. I can’t taste or smell anything and my face, eyes and gums hurt :(

23 weeks

(This was written 2/8, but posted 2/9) Holy Heartburn Batman! (I was thinking about making that the headline, but I didn’t want that to be what defines this post. But, it sure is defining today so I’m going to gripe a bit.

With Kaydriana I had a smidge of heartburn here and there. Nothing a little Tums couldn’t fix. With my son? A whole lot more! Through this pregnancy I have taken generic Pepcid and Tums. Last Saturday I couldn’t eat dinner. I had a bowl of popcorn about 8pm and then had the hardest time going to sleep. The popcorn just sat in my stomach cement. I had to try to sleep upright because I felt it rising up my esophagus, but it didn’t burn.

Then today hit and the heartburn hit hard! On Sunday (Superbowl) Tim made a huge thing of chili and it was some of the best chili I have ever had! Tim is not a big left over fan so I knew I’d be eating chili for lunch and dinner for a whole week (because Lord knows, I don’t let food go to waste!) Well, I think 3 days of chili is what did me in. So this morning as I sit down to eat breakfast I have this immense pain in my stomach. I didn’t think it was heartburn because it didn’t have the normal burning my esophagus and hurting my back feelings. I managed to eat my breakfast and choked down my coffee and was hurting. Sitting down hurt, picking up Kaydriana hurt and driving was the worst! I had taken one of my Pepcids, but on the way into work I was tearing up because of the pain. But I had a lot of meetings and just had to push through.

I survive my first two meetings, I’m now starving ( I eat breakfast with Kaydriana at 630 and now its 12 and I hadn’t had anything since) and since I had missed the employee of the year announcement, I got not one, but two slice of cake left on my desk but some thoughtful co-workers. I dig into one of them because now I’m just so hungry, the immense pain had subsided a bit and the cake just looked so good! Moments later I get what I can only describe as shards of glass going through my stomach. It was awful! I had an OB appointment today and was grateful, hoping I could get some help. I cried on my way to the hospital and I couldn’t sit down. As soon as Helen came to get me I told her I was about to burst into tears. I couldn’t even sit up during my exam. Dr Graham put me on a strict diet of plain bread, rice, and chicken with no flavor whatsoever. I got a prescription for Protonix. I’m supposed to take it twice a day for the next two days then go to once a day after that. I’m also supposed to use Maalox to help with the immediate burning. While I’ll do whatever I can not to feel this way again, being pregnant on a restricted diet sounds almost impossible L

Okay, moving along. On Monday night I was finally putting my maternity photos in their weekly spots in my pregnancy book. It was then I realized I only had 2 weeks left of my second trimester! I had no idea the 3rd trimester was just around the corner! Today I’m officially 23 weeks and baby Lake is about the size of a Mango and weighs just over a pound. In about 2 weeks I’ll go in for my glucose test.

We haven’t done jack with getting ready for Lake’s arrival. But first things first, we need to get Kaydriana switched to her big girl room and bed so we can at least paint Lake’s nursery boy colors. Now that Tim’s class is finally over I think that maybe next week is a good week to have her transition. That way if she doesn’t do well during the night he can be at her beck and call – hee hee, I haven’t exactly discussed this with him yet.

Last night it was really cute. I was sitting next to her on the couch and she gets up and walks to the gate at the bottom of the stairs and says, “I go ni-night”. I open the gate and she goes all the way to her crib. I asked if she wanted me to read her story first and she said, “no, I go ni-night” and wanted me to put her in her crib. It was very sweet, but I was sad because I only got a few minutes with her.

I couldn’t sleep last night and I started crying because Friday will be her last day in daycare until Tim gets a new job. I feel like I’m letting her down. She learns so much there and I feel like she won’t be getting the developmental nourishment she deserves and enjoys being at home. I feel so sad for her. But I'm trying to remind myself to keep things in perspective: She'll love her time with daddy, she'll always be a sponge and learn new things, and I'll be exposed to less cold germs. None of those things really comfort me, but I'm trying to be okay with it, because I have no other choice until Tim finds a job.

I feel like there is so much more that I can type, but I think this post is long enough.