Adjusting...

I write this today in the midst of some major life adjustments.
I went back to work 7 weeks ago and it's been hard. I've been self minded about how I'm dealing with missing Kaydriana and getting back into the groove of having to use my brain, deal with escalated situations and handle personnel issues. Every moment of every day I'm doing something. If I'm at my desk - I'm working (well mostly ;) ) if I'm not, I'm pumping or cleaning my pumping equipment, or running home to feed Kaydriana, changing her, loving on her, playing with her, paying bills, trying to scarf food and maybe if I'm lucky I might get about an hour to sit and relax and watch TV or get on the computer before bed and doing it all over again.
I knew all of this would happen and now I'm used to it. But I wasn't really focused on how this is all affecting Tim. The love of my life who is a wonderful father is staying home with Kaydriana.
The weather has changed so daddy can't always go on walks when he wants to get out of the house and running errands with Kaydri can be hard in weather like this. I know he gets bored and he is looking for a full time job. He's used to working, which he enjoys. I know he would much rather be working than at home every day. He was dropping Kaydri off at his parents once a week so he can go to the gym or golf, but they are currently in AZ so he doesn't really get a break.
So we're both going through the same thing in a sense.
The funny thing is, we wished the rolls were reversed. I'd love nothing more than to be in his position and he in mine. We'd both be happier... God knows what He is doing in our lives, I just pray that we can get through this with grace and be able to look back at how precious these memories of our young family are.
Building our family is what I've always wanted and I knew not everything was going to be rainbows and gum drops. I still love every moment of being a mommy and a wife and I know God will continue to bless us. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.