How Many Balls Can We Juggle?

I’ve learned that God has an interesting sense of humor, especially since I became a parent. Thursday is a great example of thinking God was saying, “I’m going to give you the desires of your heart, but you need to remember to trust me through tribulations.”

On the way into work on Thursday, I was running short on time and was going about 10 miles over the speed limit down one of our hills. I know where the cops usually hang out, so I slowed down in the normal spots and sped up where I knew I could. Just then a sick feeling washed over me and I slowed all the way down to the speed limit. Few seconds later I see a motorcycle cop hiding where there never has been before. I typically would be going fast through that area so I thanked God for giving me that warning. I just couldn’t take another financial blow.

Later, I’m at work and on my to do list is a member issue that is just ridiculous and very escalated. I’ve been trying to get a hold of this member to tell him we will not cover the cost for missing an appointment with an installer that HE hired and is ripping HIM off. The bill was $2,188. I get a call from a phone agent telling me this member is on the phone to return my call. Perfect, lets get this over with, I think. I accept the call cheerfully and was told this was not the member, it is the installer. He starts threatening me telling me I’m bad mouthing his business (he used some legal jargon, not defaming, slander, or libel, but something else) and that it is against the law in the state of Texas and he’ll have his lawyers contact me and blah blah blah. I get nervous and take a, “play nice in the sand box” approach and get him off the phone.

I was worried that I might be held personally responsible because I did tell the member that the installer he hired has an unfavorable rating on the BBB and from my experience, no installer would charge a member that much money to have to reschedule their installation appointment. I was only telling the member out of concern.

I ended up calling our legal department and had to leave a message. So I sweated about this for a few hours. Finally, I spoke to one of our lawyers and he said I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t maliciously saying untruths about this company and what I did share was public knowledge on BBB’s website. Phew!

A little while later, Tim text me after he picked the kids up from daycare to say that our monthly daycare fee has been reduced by $122!! That means our new monthly fee is… $2,188!!! That dollar amount look familiar!? Crazy coincidence!

However, minutes later Tim calls me with bad news. As he was backing up to parallel park, he hit someone who was behind him. He says it was her fault because he was already partly in the spot and she obviously wasn’t paying attention. But I’m not totally convinced. Who knows how the insurance company will go. The last thing we need is to pay another $500 deductable! We just paid that with our water damage.

It’s bad enough that I hit a neighbors rearview mirror and had to pay $318 out of pocket to reimburse the replacement mirror. Then we receive a bi-monthly water bill and it’s gone from an average of $200 to $600! I spoke with our insurance company and it’s unlikely they’ll reimburse us, because for one instance of our toilet overflowing, wouldn’t cause that much extra water usage. My toilet has done this constant running thing for months and I had my huge make up case on the back of the lid, so I generally would just let it be. Now with the toilet situation and our outrageous bill, I’ve been taking the lid off to stop the water. Next step is to have someone from the water department make sure we don’t have a leak and then ask them to cut us a break. We also need to call a plumber to look at the toilet, but we definitely can’t afford that right now, so I need to be diligent about stopping it from running. Ugh! Being a home owner is not all it’s cracked up to be! I kinda miss the days where I can call the apartment manager and have the handy man fix my issue.

To make matters worse, Tim and I have not put ourselves in a financial situation where we have wiggle room to handle disasters. Since I returned to work from having Lake and paying for two kids in daycare, we’ve had to use credit cards a lot to make ends meet. Add to that all of Lake’s doctor bills and not only are we struggling to pay our monthly bills, we certainly can’t afford all these unplanned bills. We’re looking into debt consolidating, but wonder if we should. We’re putting our house on the market and my idea is to use what we make on the house to get out of debt, move into an apartment, save money for a new down payment and start fresh. I just don’t know what the right answer is.

Among all these financial unknowns are our work situations. I’m so excited that Tim is finally switching to day shifts on July 1^st. I’ve been feeling alone for a long time. Not just single parent status and having to deal with all the kids needs from 7PM-9AM each day, but no one to talk to status. I began to enjoy it, like the kids go to bed and I’m by myself to read. But after I realized I was mostly looking forward to seeing my message therapist for the conversation and not just for the back care, I realized that something just wasn’t right. I’ve turned to my online mommy groups, which has been really great, but nothing beats being able to sit and talk to your partner. It really, really became obvious when Tim and I went to stay overnight for our anniversary. Being able to have a conversation with him is something so simple, but so needed and worthwhile. Imagine that, a wife talking to her husband…

Tim will begin working from 630-330 most days. We’ll need to figure out how to sleep in the same bed again. He likes windows open, TV or radio on, no covers. I’m exactly opposite. But we’ll finally have time together while the kids are asleep, which will be great.

Now, onto the topic that’s bringing me a lot of excitement and nerves… I’m applying for a new position at work. It’s a lateral position in a WAY less stressful position, earlier hours and Monday through Friday. I would be all excitement and no nerves if I didn’t have to worry and figure out childcare. The position would mean I’d have to open 3 days a week, which I would absolutely love!! I loved those hours before I had Kaydriana. However, I’d have to be at work at 5:30 AM and daycare doesn’t open until 6:30. So at least three days a week, we’d have to hire a nanny. If everything worked out perfectly, a nanny would be at our house at 515 those three days I have to open and the kids can stay in daycare two days a week. It would have to equal out to be what we’re currently paying as we certainly can’t afford more than what we’re paying. I like the idea of not having to get the kids fed, dressed and out of the house in a frenzy. But I would be concerned about their safety (do I let the nanny drive them anywhere?) and learning and playing with other kids. Also, finding good childcare is stressful!!!!

I have my interview on Tuesday and while I have an excellent shot at getting it, I’m not a shoe in. I’m trusting God will open doors to get me out of this current position, with these really restricted hours. When I was on maternity leave with Kaydriana, I was called and told I was coming to Ecom. So I never got the benefit of really learning if I could have a good work/life balance and be satisfied with my job and home life.

I feel like this new position, with it’s earlier hours, would give me the benefit of having a good balance and perhaps satisfy the hunger I have to spend more time with my kids.

With the house going on the market, our financial situation, new positions at work and possible childcare changes, we have a lot of things up in the air. Trusting in God’s plan for us and praying for patience and wisdom in all of this.