A year ago…

I originally created this blog to share my experiences with pregnancy, trying to get pregnant, talking about my kids, etc. Since I don’t foresee another child in our near future, I see my blog evolving a bit to reflect a more broad insight into my life. So, I hope you don’t mind that I’ll be sharing more than just my kids, and complaining about work ;)

I purposefully didn’t share on here much about what was happening to my family this time last year as my dad’s final days approached. It was a year ago yesterday that we got the call from hospice that my dad’s health had changed and that if we wanted to be with him to come now. I knew when I visited him the month before, that it was going to be our last time seeing each other here on this earth. However, my step mother, Rene was there and my sister, who had just landed home in Southern California, promptly got in her car and sped (got a speeding ticket!) to be by our dad’s side.

I’ve always been the kind of person who puts meaning in a lot things, and one of those things is time passing. Like, I feel it’s significant that a year ago today, my dad was still alive. This Saturday, the 8^th will be one year since his passing. We’ve gone through the “firsts” without him. The first birthday that I don’t hear, “Happy Birthday Sweetheart” or read on the check he always sent that says that in the notes section. And there was the first Easter and Thanksgiving where I usually talk to dad on my way to Tim’s family’s house.

I’m so glad that I’ve kept voice mails from my dad so I can hear his voice. When somebody is smoking a stinky cigar, I immediately think of him. I know there will be the opportunity that some guy will be wearing the cologne that my dad used to wear and I will be grateful and sad.

We buried my dad on my 31^st birthday. It was an interesting day full of emotion. Growing up, my mom did an awesome job of making our birthdays special. We didn’t have to do chores that day, we woke up to a present on the end of the bed, and just the whole day was amazing. We grew up pretty poor, but my mom always made us feel special. Some say it might be immature that I want to feel like I am special on my birthday, but that’s just the way it is. I’ve done the same thing for my daughter’s first 2 birthdays and I’ll do it for both of the kids’ birthdays for as long as I’m alive (or they’ll let me).

Going back to my dad’s funeral, I wanted to feel special, but at the same time I didn’t. I just wanted to focus on my dad and forget about my 31^st birthday. My family did do dinner and cake for me and my step sister got us party hats. I loved that they cared enough to do that for me.

So… this year, my 32^nd birthday we are wine tasting on the 8^th. I’m glad that my sister will be here. It will be a celebration for another year, but we both will be thinking of my dad. And then on my actual birthday, 12/12/12, I’m going to be getting my brows done, lunching with my cousin and sister, and then getting a massage. Afterwards, Tim took the night off so that we can take the kids to see the lights at the Bellevue Botanical Gardens.

I know that I will never forget the day my dad died or the special day we buried his ashes in his beautiful garden, but life does go on and I’m happy to be celebrating my upcoming birthday with some of my favorite people. 

A Bad Day

I feel like I should share how bad my day was yesterday. Not that I’m ready to laugh about it yet, it’s almost comical how everything that could go wrong, did.

It started off bad from the night before. I worked until 8 and had to park super far away from the house, which if you can imagine, is not great when trying to get a 2.5 year old and 5 month old loaded in the car. Of course, once I walked up to my door, the guy parked right in front of my house drove off.

The next morning, yesterday, was extra cold, like windows frosted over, get your ice scraper out, cold. Of course, I didn’t notice this until I was ready to leave the house to get my car to move it closer to the house. So I get to my car, realize I need an ice scraper. Problem is, I haven’t had to use an ice scraper in many, many months. So I look around in my truck. No ice scraper. I drive blindly(ish) to my door and run upstairs, wake Tim and find my big truck ice scraper. I ignore the note that has been placed on the door as my reminder…

Get the kids loaded up and pull up to daycare...

(Oh, and let me not forget that I had ran out of coffee pods. Which meant, no artificial energy… okay, back to my story.)

...I reach over to grab Lake’s milk. Then it hits me. I forgot his milk and diapers, which was the reminder on the door as daycare had run out. I contemplated just dropping them off and letting daycare figure it out, but decided not to make my problem their problem. After all, I had to leave some of Lake’s breast milk at work, due to working late the night before, so I had to stay up later and pump so he could have enough milk for the next day, which I LEFT AT HOME. Aggg.

So, I put my seatbelt back on, make a u-turn and as Kaydriana starts crying because she doesn’t understand why we’re leaving, I start crying. I slept horribly (which is nothing new), still hadn’t had my coffee and now I was going to be late for work, which meant I would have to park offsite again.

When I got to work, I check my bank account to find a charge on my account from JustFab, which is a shoe website advertized on tv. Their commercial finally convinced me to try it out while I was on maternity leave. I thought I had done a good job reading the fine print. Uh uh. When I called their customer service to ask about this charge, they say that while there are no membership fees (which I recall reading) they do charge my account $39.95 each month which creates a credit on my account to use at anytime. So when I tell the lady, who was clearly reading through a “fabulous” script, that I want to cancel this and I want my account to be credited, she tells me she couldn’t do that. I asked again and she said that while she can cancel my account, the credit would remain and I can use it at anytime. So basically, I’m forced to buy a pair of shoes. Now if this was for face cream or something, I might have escalated and gone to management. But lets face it, I’ll end up using that credit at some point. But I definitely feel stupid being suckered, considering I manage a .com business….

I had planned on getting my car from the park during lunch so that I could go to the store and buy more coffee. So I run over to the building across the street in my heels and catch the shuttle. As the driver is pulling away I let her know that I need to be dropped off at the park. She tells me they don’t go there. I told her that I had been dropped off on Tuesday, she said they aren’t supposed to and she can drop me off at her last stop, which is approximately .5 mile or so to walk to my car. As the realization came to me that I was wearing heals and it was freezing cold outside, I told her, “I wasn’t really prepared to have to walk as I’m in heels and it’s cold outside.” She flat out ignores me!

So as I typically do when I’m mad, I start crying. But there is a bus full of people so I’m trying not to lose it. I get off at the last stop, and I start bawling. Like audibly crying. Down the street. Through the mud. With no tissue.

I get to my truck, cry a bunch more, then drive to the store to get my coffee. I get to the coffee aisle, and start looking for my coupon that I had clipped two nights before, which I knew I had put in my purse. I can’t find it anywhere. Of course, cuz why should anything go the way I want. However, I get back in my car, go to put my cash back into my wallet. And the stupid coupon is sitting right there!!!

Get back to work and I head to the bathroom so that I can do something with my face. When I realize that there is no way that I can not look like I had been crying, I grab my purse to walk out. Something had fallen out. And it doesn’t just fall out. It floats under the counter. So I have to get all the way down and almost crawl to get the paper that fell. I grab it, crumple it as I curse it, and shove it back in my purse.

So while I realize that nothing was, “end of the world” bad, my ability to handle these stupid things was non- existent. But I feel typing this out and sharing with others is very therapeutic!  :)

Skip to today, where it started off fantastically, because last night, after reading my gripes on facebook, an ex employee of mine offered to let me have her employee of the month parking spot for the rest of the month. I didn’t have to stress trying to leave my house extra early and it just went smoothly all day. I also got to have lunch with my sister and nephew. And, I got to have my coffee too! 

Princess and a Pea Pod

I really had no other ideas for this title :)

Life is settling down in general. Work is evening out and our daily routine is becoming less stressful. In fact, last week, I got my first solid 8 hours of sleep in like 6-7 months. If it wasn't for the time change, I could have hoped I’d get a few more nights like that, but anytime you mess with a routine, sleep is the first thing to get jacked up.

Last week, Tim and I decided that we need to switch daycares. With Tim’s job threatening 12 hour shifts, and my schedule being as late as it is, we were looking at having to supplement childcare with a babysitter. Tim went back in to Kaydriana’s old daycare (which we loved for the most part) and talked with them. He negotiated them down a couple hundred bucks. It’s still not as cheap as what we’re paying for now, but with their expanded hours and ample employees, its just the right choice.

I was on the verge of tears with thinking about telling Candace and Steven (the couple we take the kids to now) that we were switching daycares. That was until Candace called me at work – the same morning that we decided to switch daycares. Apparently, Kaydriana was not listening when it was time to go down for a nap. Candace asked that I speak to, “my daughter”. I didn’t mind this piece. Then when I heard her demanding Kaydriana come to the phone and that, “her mother was not happy that she had to call me at work” and just hearing the tone she was using, absolutely broke my heart! The very first thing I told Kaydriana was that I loved her and then told her she had to lay down and go nigh-night. While I kept my composure, mama bear came out, and I had no qualms with taking my kids out of this daycare. While I might use an impatient and firm tone with my kids, they are my kids. They (of course I only mean Kaydriana right now) know I love them, but they are mis-behaving and need to be corrected. This was the first time in my motherhood that I have experienced this with my children and I did not like it one bit. If she uses that tone around me, what kind of tone do they use when I’m not around to hear it?

We didn’t ever worry about this with the daycare we’re returning Kaydriana to. They have plenty of staff so they don’t get burned out. Don’t get me wrong, Candace and Steven are loving people and I really do enjoy them, but as Tim has witnessed at the end of the day, they seem overwhelmed and impatient. Additionally, when I was excited that Lake was finally able to fit into his overalls, Candace made the comment that overalls and jeans on babies are her least favorite article of clothing because it makes it difficult to change their diapers. Ummm, what?

Anyway, Lake is growing and growing! The other day Steven told me that Lake drank 22oz of milk at daycare. I had been providing 15oz of breast milk, but my supply is dwindling and have only been bringing in 10oz this past week. I don’t have a problem with supplementing with formula, but I decided it was time that Lake needed to eat more food. We had only been feeding him oatmeal with a veggie after his evening milk. So I started brining in oatmeal cereal. When I dropped the kids off this morning, Steven told me that Lake seemed a lot more satisfied and is a very good eater. That’s my boy!! And last night I stopped swaddling him. He didn’t sleep worse or better. He still woke up at 1130, which he has done since the time change.

Trick or treating was fun for Kaydriana this year. While we don’t allow her to eat a lot of sweets, she got a lot of candy! Our neighborhood is a jackpot; so many houses in such a little space. We only went to 30 houses or so, but her bucket got half way full. I carried Lakey (our lil’ pea pod) around until my arm was going to fall off. Kaydriana LOVES being a pretty princess! 

Take this job and...

Well, I won't finish the saying, but you get it.  

The first two weeks back to work were okay. I got emotional a few times, missing my little guy. I feel bad that I didn't/don’t miss Kaydriana as much, but she has always loved daycare and she doesn't need me as much as Lake needs me. And I need him. Even though I was tired at work, I kicked butt, initiating two new programs and feeling really motivated. I felt like the old me again!

But now I’m in my 3^rd week back and it is the WEEK FROM HELL!! Mondays are hard for me in general because I just spent two, very fast days just being a mommy to my babies. I come into work on Monday and my boss tells me that I have to do 2 hours of overtime (OT) a day. I thought I was doing pretty well. I come in about 15 min early most days and skipping lunch most days. I started crying at my boss’s desk. I already feel like I don’t get enough time with my kids and now I have to jack up our routines (not easy when you've worked to establish a t routine for months!), spend LESS time with my kids and not even get to see Tim in the mornings because I’m leaving at 730 when he’s getting home.

Even before this week hit, I could barely manage to brush my teeth before falling into bed after I get the kids to sleep.  Its even worse this week. I had to finish my make up at work, drop the kids off in their PJs, Thursday I didn’t do my hair (thankfully, I was able to make a little ponytail nub). I had to cancel my two lunches I had scheduled this week with friends. The only “breaks” I get are when I pump. While it’s relaxing, it’s not a break.

Wednesday took the cake. I had two angry, demanding member issues that escalated to me. I spent over 2.5 hours on one issue, even though he didn’t deserve anything special. He was just a jerk! The other issue I worked on had me checking my email all night and morning outside of work. It’s all very infuriating. I keep thinking about how this is NOT how I want to be spending my time.

Thankfully, this week has driven us to start taking some action. Tim and I started filling out another home loan application to see about getting a new home. I won’t get into all the details right now, but the first step in me stepping down and going part time is moving, then figuring out childcare. Actually, getting out of debt is really the first step, which we should be able to mostly do by the end of the month.

Tim and I are both very ready for change. As long as I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, then I can hold on. Hopefully I can keep the anger and tears at bay long enough to make it through this rough patch. 

Back to work

Maybe now that I sit at a computer all day instead of loving on my babies, I might become more consistent with  updating my blog. 

Today marks the 1.5 week mark of my return to work. Maternity leave seems like decades long past, and that makes me sad. 

I don't recall me being as emotional with my return to work with Kaydriana. I think the major reason for that is the fact she was home with daddy and I came home during lunch to feed her. Lakey and Kaydriana's daycare is close enough that I could use my lunch to drive there, but I've resisted because I can't take a lunch at a set time, and Lake doesn't eat at a set time, and I feel like I might upset Kaydriana by coming and then leaving without her. So I get a little teary eyed when I look at Lake's pictures and hope that he's awake when I get home. 

Homecomings are so much more precious with two kiddos who are excited to see me. After my first day of work, I made a be-line to Lake to love on him. I didn't mean to make Kaydriana feel unimportant, but I know how much she loved daycare before and I figured she had a blast and couldn't possible miss me. I was wrong. I picked up Lake and she was all over me. I guess she had a blast this summer with me, and missed me. She was almost as crazy with jumping on me this Monday, after our first weekend together since my return, as she was that first Monday.

Once I'm home, I don't get to sit and eat until Lake goes to bed, but thats okay. I've learned to eat a snack before I head home and focus on loving on and playing with my kids. 

The most upset I've been since my return was last Thursday. I had a work dinner on Wednesday night and got home 20 min later than usual. Lake was asleep and I could not get him to wake up. Then the next morning, I had an all day conference that started early. I literally only got to feed and dress Lake and we were out the door. So 24 hours of no snuggles or play time with my little guy :( I got teary eyed 3 times that day at work. I was so sad. When I got home on Thursday, he was  asleep again. No way was I going to be able to go 48 hours without snuggles and play time. So I woke him up, and let him start to feed. My mom called and we're talking on the phone, and it was like Lake really woke up, and realized he was in mommy's arms. As I talked, he kept pulling away (making a milky mess) and smiling at me. I told my mom I had to call her back so I could get Lake to eat. Ugh, I loved that moment! Its amazing how, even at 4 months, he is able to let me know that he loves me!

Work. Well, it doesn't suck too bad yet. I do find myself being a lot more motivated than I was when I was going through the stuff with my dad, and the pregnancy. I think I've done more work this week and a half than I did in 6 months before I went out on leave :) Thats probably not true, but I'm just going, going, going. I've already created two new programs and had one one ones with each of the supervisors that report to me. 

Ok, back to kids. Kaydriana is as funny as ever! She really cracks me up! I love her dancing and especially the model pose she does, which is her putting her hands on the back of her hips and having this swag in her pose. I don't know where she got it, but I love it! Tim blames Toddler and Tiaras. Oops! We only watched it once, I swear!

Lakey is my sweet little guy. He loves to watch his sister. I try to keep her at bay while I feed him, because if she sits next to me, he's constantly trying to get a good look at her. He loves his big sis! Lake is rolling around like crazy and when you put something in front of him, he looks like he really wants to crawl towards it, but just doesn't know how to yet. His coordination with holding something and bringing it to his mouth, is getting better and better, but he still needs help a lot of the time. He does not seem interested in sitting up. Kaydriana was basically sitting at this stage, but I understand each baby is different, and he just isn't that interested. He loves pears and squash. Doesn't seem to be a fan of bananas. We don't feed him food every day, but when I do, he does a decent job of eating. I remember when I first started Kaydriana on food and I was surprised at her inability to figure out how to keep the food in her mouth. I get it now, and keep the spoon in Lake's mouth until he gets most of the food down his throat. I think he likes chomping on the spoon, since he's beginning to teeth. 

Well, I could write a lot more, but I'm tired. Bedtime is 830pm these days, since I never know when Lake is going to wake up. Most nights, all I can manage is to brush my teeth and change into my sleep bra before I fall into bed exhausted. 

10 weeks already!?

It's been way too long since my last post. I've thought about posting and what I'd share and what I'd title my potential entries. Such as: Newborn Narcolepsy, What Was I Thinking?, or Best Summer Ever!
I'm sure I'll miss a lot of what I'd like to share, but I'll start off with this: I love my babies!
Lake is amazing. He's such an easy baby. I'm sure it mostly has to do with the fact that this is not my first rodeo and I'm following the same schedule I used on Kaydriana, but he really is pretty mild. He never really cries (except for when I go booger sucking), he does kind of a whimper thing. He turned 2 months on 7/24 and that was the first day he officially smiled and coo'd at me. It was awesome!! He had his 8 week check up last week (at 9 wks) and he weighed 11 lbs and 10 oz and was 23 inches (If I remember right).
He is not sleeping through the night yet (which is 6.5-8 hr stretches), like his sister was at this age. I'm not sure why, but I'm not too worried yet. I figured he was two weeks early and takes a bit longer to hit milestones than his sister.
I find myself calling Lake, "Lakey" or, "Boogers". He's got wide open nostrils and I swear that kid always has boogs in his nose! We've never nickname Kaydriana because we wanted her to learn her name and allow her friends to nickname her. However, she has done the honors herself. She refers to herself as Ana. We're working on that one...
I just went through a roller coaster of emotions. I was told that I don't have to return to work until November 1st. That was AMAZING!! But I thought it was too good to be true and so I stopped by my HR department to verify and confirmed it was true. I was over the moon and knew I wouldn't even have to begin thinking about work or daycare for a while. However, today I was reviewing our finances and decided to ask if I get my full 100% of my pay during the FMLA and disability period. Turns out, once my 13 weeks of maternity ends on 8/22, I no longer get any pay! I seriously felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. I'll start using my vacation and sick pay so I can stay out until 10/1, but thats a month earlier than I planned. I know 4 months is still a nice long time to be home with my babies, but 5 months was waaaayyyy better. So I think that means I'll have to cancel some plans and really start saving and searching for daycare options. Ugh :(
Kaydriana is... well, not her sweet, loving self all the time. She is obviously getting older and learning a lot and wanting to be stimulated. She is also testing boundaries and trying to exert independence. Add new brother attention sharing and she has moments that I really have to restrain myself! She will out-rightly defy me. I'll ask her not to touch his binky or blanket and she'll get this snotty look on her face, look at me in the eye and take off with whatever it is I told her not to touch. This goes for playing with his swing when he's in there sleeping. She's the most difficult when I'm feeding him. She is very needy and whiny most of the times I am feeding him, where I can't do much for her. I try to prepare to make sure she has a snack and her water and can be entertained during the 30 minutes or so, but she'll still need or demand something. It's getting a little better now that the newness is wearing off, but there are still tough moments/days. And at the same time, while I really enjoyed my time with just Lake while she remained in daycare (the month of June), overall I love my days with both my babies and the special memories we are making.
Kaydriana calls Lake, "Cek". Not quite, "Cake", but close. She likes to help me when I change his diapers and wants to help burp him and put his paci back in his mouth. She's quite obsessed with his binky and will often times hide with it and put it in her mouth. She also loves to give us both hugs and kisses. I'm glad her sweetness still exists :)
I've let Kaydriana watch cartoons far more than I wanted to, but find it is necessary. I can tell when its gotten to be too much when she gets frustrated when commercials come on. She looks at me and says, "More!". Trying to explain commercials to a 2 year old is a bit pathetic, so thats usually my queue to turn off the boob tube and try to get her to do something else, usually grab a book.
She has also become much like her mom in that she is accident proned. In a two week time frame she fell while running and used her face to break the fall. That was a nice, bloody mess that may leave a scar for life. She lost her big toe nail when she shut the door right over it. She also had her first dripping down the face bloody nose. I think that was caused by her digging in it. We now have an army supply of band-aids!
Her vocabulary is really expanding! There is no way i can include everything she says, but some of my favorite phrases are, "Look at me!" I say that to her when I'm trying to get her to understand something and now she is using it against me :). She also tells Tim and I to, "Sit down" and pats the seat where she wants us to sit.  I also love it when she says, "Oh Nice! Awesome!". She learned that one from her daddy. She is getting better at her ABCs and when she sees words, she pretends to read by saying her ABCs. She also sings like crazy! Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Row, Row, Row your Boat, Skitter Mirinki Dinki Doo, and Shoo Fly are her favorites. Oh and I can't forget her new found passion for counting.
We've been having a fun summer! Having my sister and her family here has been great! Kaydriana and Reid LOVE to play together. They chase each other around, tickle each other, dance, sit and watch cartoons together and it is just so adorable to witness. They also love the same foods: fishys, Wheat Thins, granola bars, watermelon, and peanut butter (no jelly) sandwiches.
My sister was the first to watch Lake (she was also the first to watch Kaydriana :) ) and we've been trading off favors. I watched Reid for two days when she flew to ID for work and Tim and I have a date night at the Seahawks on the 11th that she'll be helping us out with.
The kids, sister, and I run errands together, play at the park, and check out touristy Seattle stuff together. We're planning a trip to Forks and La Push and tomorrow my mom is watching the three kids so we can just hang out together. We're going to see a movie and get pedicures and take a few hours off of being mommies :)
As for me, I'm constantly tired. With Lake's current schedule of waking to feed at 10pm and anywhere between 2-4am and then Kaydriana's wake time of between 6-7am, I really look forward to nap time. It doesn't always work out if I can't coordinate the kids schedules. Last night Lake decided he was hungry at 1am and Kaydriana decided 545 was a good wake up time. So I'm trying to keep Lake awake until I can put Kaydriana down for a nap. I need some rest! I typically drink 3 cups of coffee now.
I've lost 29 lbs so far and just a few weeks ago could start wearing normal pants (much larger size of course) that fit and doesn't hurt my incision. I still have 20lbs to loose and hope to loose at least 5 more pounds by the end of August when my sister will do our family photos. Ive begun to work out and have gone to the gym once. It feels so good to feel that burn. As I'm pushing myself, I feel like my strong lean self again. Sadly, looking in the mirror, brings me back to reality. I know I'll lose the weight just like I did with Kaydriana, but I'm being impatient :/
Okay, I think I've shared enough for now.
PS, I just had a 1.5 hr nap with the kids. Success!!

2 weeks

Today, both Lake and I had our 2 week check ups. Lake is doing fabulous! I was getting a little concerned about the amount of time he was sleeping. I mean, I really appreciated how much he slept, which gave me rest and time to eat, sleep, watch TV, etc. However, Kaydriana didn't sleep THAT much and with his 5 day check up, the pediatrician we saw (not his) said that being slightly jaundice can cause babies to be sleepy so I was growing a bit concerned. But yesterday he started to look less yellow and was more awake and today he's given me more awake time. In just 9 days he gained 12oz and is now 8lbs 3oz. I noticed that he is no longer swimming in his newborn clothes and his little face is chubbing up.

I've just discovered how much I love using a baby sling. I didn't use one with Kaydriana because the one I had purchased was recalled and I just didn't get another one. I ended up getting a different kind of sling and was delighted that I can do things with two hands (like typing this entry). I'm still a little nervous, so I'm being overly careful, making sure he's not going to fall out and suffocate. One of Lake's favorite positions is laying on my chest. He can sleep forever if I let him, and I really love the snuggling, so the sling gives us both a little bit of that comfort.

Kaydriana is really warming up to her brother more and more. She loves to help me with whatever she can with him. When he cries, she runs over to see whats going on and she always wants me to set him down so that she can touch him. She especially likes to help me with his binky, but thankfully, she hasn't taken his binky and put it in her mouth, which was one of my worries.

I've heard time and time again that parents worry about having enough love for their second child, but that somehow your heart manages. So I wasn't worried about not having enough love. What I'm surprised by is that it was possible to love Kaydriana even more than I did before her brother arrived. Before he came, she was my little girl. Now she is my big girl, my helper, a loving big sister, and I just love her more and more. It's indescribable.

So my results from my appointment: I got my steri-strips removed - yay! Those suckers are so itchy! I still have the desolvable stitches, but my incision looks great. I was pleasantly surprised today that I got to see Dr. Graham, my OBGYN that delivered Lake. When I made my appointment, I was told that she wasn't available and that I was going to see a midwife. I really wanted to see Dr. Graham, because when I went into labor 2 weeks ago with her, in her office, there was so much going on, that I wanted to talk to her about it. She was pretty animated (usually she is stoic) when she came in saying that she really want to see me and see how I was doing. She stared at Lake for a while telling me how adorable he was. She has two sons, so I knew she was a bit partial to boys. When I went in for my 6-week check up with Kaydriana, she only gave her a quick glance. We agreed that I was in the right place at the right time when I started hemorrhaging. Because I wasn't expecting to see her, I didn't bring in a thank you card, but I will for my 6-week postpartum. I just want to thank her for how she took care of me and held my hand and was trying to reassure me as everything was happening.

I got the clearance to drive and to go on walks, but still no abdominal work. Now, if the weather would improve, I could start walking. I've already lost 17lbs, but I still have a long way to go. She still wants me to take it easy with picking Kaydriana up, but I think I'll start taking her to daycare on Monday. She can climb into the truck, then I'll just have to pick her up briefly to put her in the carseat.

The last bit of good news I received was that my OB approved me to start birth control, so I got the deppo shot, which lasts three months and I can still nurse on it. That way in 4 weeks when I get the "all clear", I wont have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant. I took the mini pill with Kaydriana, and for it to be most effective, I had to take it at the same time everyday and breast feed regularly. It made me feel like there were too many parameters to make it work properly so I was always worried. I just hope my hormones don't get all jacked up, because I've never used deppo. Although, I think my hormones are jacked up anyway because I was sweating like a 500lb woman today, but it was only 55 degrees.

I have my first chiropractor appointment tomorrow since having Lake and I'm so looking forward to it. I feel like my car accident just happened all over again. But now that Lake is born, I'm hoping that I can finally wrap up my claim and start feeling healed.

Tim and I have been blessed with visitors and people bringing food. Ashley and Sarah came to visit this week (Sarah brought over some delicious lasagna and yummy chili). Our neighbors, Christy and Seth ask us all the time if there is anything they can help us with or if there is something from the store they can pick up for us. That was especially helpful, because last Friday was me and Tim's 4 year wedding anniversary, and I wasn't able to get him anything, so they picked me up a bottle of champagne and we enjoyed some mimosa's together. I've had other neighbors bring us homemade lentil soup, enchiladas with homemade cookies, and Christy and Seth shared their BBQ with us and brought me all kinds of goodies to snack on while in my room the first few days home. It makes me realize how important it is to offer assistance to new parents and I want to try to be better about that.

So I'll end my post with really awesome news. I found out that I don't have to return to work until November. I'm stoked!!!!