We Survived!! (I think)

Oh boy! If someone would have told me what this past week would hold, I would have said I wouldn't know how to deal with it. But we did it!
We experienced Kaydriana's first cold. It wasn't too bad. For the most part she was in good spirits. But then she gave it to daddy, which eventually passed on to me. Having two sick parents taking care of a sick baby is not a good combination. To make matters more interesting, she got her first tooth and her first minor ear ache. Poor baby.
Tim and I start to feel a bit better and I decide that I cannot live with my ingrown toenail any longer and get it removed.
Hichi momma did that hurt!!! I regret doing it. It's been 6 days and I'm still in pain. I haven't been able to wear normal shoes. The Monday after the procedure, I had ran out of vicodin. I had gone back to the dr that morning because I was in so much pain and my toe looked infected. Tim had to drive me because I couldn't. Well, earlier that morning Tim threw up- we still don't know why. After he picked me up from the dr, I was hoping to pick up my refill of pain meds. But Tim felt so sick that he just wanted to rush home. As soon as he walked in the door he threw up. Yuck!
So here I am, not able to drive - in a lot of pain and Tim can't drive because he is so sick. I had to be at work at 2pm! I emailed my boss to say that I'm in a predicament and she came to my rescue. She got me my prescription and I was able to get to work. Tim started feeling well enough to watch Kaydriana on his own for the rest of the day.
Phew! What a trying week!

Adjusting...

I write this today in the midst of some major life adjustments.
I went back to work 7 weeks ago and it's been hard. I've been self minded about how I'm dealing with missing Kaydriana and getting back into the groove of having to use my brain, deal with escalated situations and handle personnel issues. Every moment of every day I'm doing something. If I'm at my desk - I'm working (well mostly ;) ) if I'm not, I'm pumping or cleaning my pumping equipment, or running home to feed Kaydriana, changing her, loving on her, playing with her, paying bills, trying to scarf food and maybe if I'm lucky I might get about an hour to sit and relax and watch TV or get on the computer before bed and doing it all over again.
I knew all of this would happen and now I'm used to it. But I wasn't really focused on how this is all affecting Tim. The love of my life who is a wonderful father is staying home with Kaydriana.
The weather has changed so daddy can't always go on walks when he wants to get out of the house and running errands with Kaydri can be hard in weather like this. I know he gets bored and he is looking for a full time job. He's used to working, which he enjoys. I know he would much rather be working than at home every day. He was dropping Kaydri off at his parents once a week so he can go to the gym or golf, but they are currently in AZ so he doesn't really get a break.
So we're both going through the same thing in a sense.
The funny thing is, we wished the rolls were reversed. I'd love nothing more than to be in his position and he in mine. We'd both be happier... God knows what He is doing in our lives, I just pray that we can get through this with grace and be able to look back at how precious these memories of our young family are.
Building our family is what I've always wanted and I knew not everything was going to be rainbows and gum drops. I still love every moment of being a mommy and a wife and I know God will continue to bless us. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.

5 months and 14 days

Wow, the past 5 months and 14 days has been the best of my life. Becoming a mom - being parents- has been absolutely the best thing I have ever done in my life.


Kaydriana makes everything better. Tim and I have had many firsts in our lives together, but creating new firsts and experiencing Kaydriana's firsts with her has been so fulfilling.


I remember before becoming pregnant that although I was content, I knew there was something so much more meaningful missing. And I've found it. I know my purpose in life.


You hear parents say the love you have for your child is so special... and while I could try to understand it, you really don't until you experience it for yourself. I explain it that I now feel like I am a part of this special club because now I get it. It's an indescribable feeling. But it's also scary. I hate hearing bad things in the news about children- I even cry now because I visualize myself and Kaydriana in some of those stories and I couldn't even fathom...


Its like the saying that a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body.



Okay so now you know how incredible I feel about being a mom. What I don't like is being a working mom. I really wish I could have known how much being a mom would mean to me that I wished I could have planned my life differently in order to be able to stay home. I want nothing more than to be able to stay home with my baby. I miss her so much while at work. The first day back from my weekend I feel such sadness and tear up on the way to work. It's the worst. However, it is not feasible for me not to work. I always thought, and Tim and I planned, that we would both work and provide our children with a nice home, be able to pay for things they need and want and help them pay for their first cars, take them on vacations, etc. Now that Kaydriana is here and with the plan for one (hopefully two) more I see that it's not all of those things that are important. However, I realized a little too late. I know I'll be the best working mom that I can be, I just wish that we can win the Lotto so I can be a SAHM.

Kaydriana is here!

Mother's Day I was awaken by Tim bearing gifts from him and our unborn daughter. I was bummed that Kaydriana wasn't here before Mother's Day but daddy did a good job surprising me with the new Reebok Easy Tone sneakers and a beautiful Karen Kane dress (that I could wear that day and post pregnancy).
I woke up with period like cramps that went on all day. We had brunch with Tim's family at his sisters and had to ask him to take bumps and turns lightly because they kind of hurt.
After we got home I decided to drive 45 minutes to Marysville to surprise my mom at work. I had some stronger waves of cramps, but I was determined so I made the trek. I got home about 5pm and definitely knew I was feeling contractions, but with as many ups and downs we had over the past few days I didn't want to get too excited. Around 6 I pulled up Contraction Master online and started to time my contractions. They were anywhere from 7-14 minutes a part. I continued to track them, Tim went to bed around 7 and they were getting stronger and closer. I kept telling myself they would stop. At 10 I went to lay in bed to try and sleep. I even set my alarm for work the next morning. In about 20 minutes I had 4 contractions. So I woke up, came down stairs and grabbed my birthing ball. At 11:15 I called Labor and Delivery and told them what I was experiencing. They said if I really wanted to come in I could but if I was doing ok at home I should stay home for as long as I could. So I kept laboring by myself. At 1230am I couldn't do it by myself anymore so I woke Tim up and he did such a great job rubbing my back through my contractions. Finally at 145am I couldn't take it anymore. I called the hospital and told them I was coming.
We get to the hospital and they bring us in the "staging" room where they plan to monitor me for at least an hour before admitting me to see if I'm really that close to labor. I was still only a good 2cm, but because it was a slow night and I was Group B Strep positive they decided to admit me. Tim and I were so relieved!
So we get into our LD room, I'm handling the contractions ok, I've got the birthing ball and leaning over it through contractions. We also walked the halls stopping to use the rails as contractions came.
About 6am the nurse comes in and checks me and I'm about 3cm. She says that I have some decisions to make. I didn't want an epidural until I was 4-5 cm, however the anesthesiologist has a c-section scheduled for 730 so I could either get the epidural before or wait 1.5-2 hours after the c-section. Who knew what I'd be feeling 2 hours from then but I decided to wait until 7am to see how I dilated. At 7 Dr. Graham comes in and I'm 3.5-4cm and she is going to break my water. So I decided to get the epidural.
Then sleep... blissful sleep! I had already been awake for 24 hours. I slept hard for about 2 hours and then dozed through out the day. At 3pm the nurse checks me and I'm about 6-7cm dilated so she thinks it won't be long until I'll get to start pushing. However, they think that Kaydriana is sunny side up, meaning she is not going to be coming out vaginally if she doesn't turn around given her size. Not what I wanted to hear. During this time I'm feeling my contractions and need a top off of my epidural. I'll never forget, we were watching Oprah and a girl got the "Harpo Hook up" and got to meet Justin Timberlake. :) Then it's pushing time. Dr. Graham attempted to turn Kaydriana a bit in hopes that with pushing she'll continue to turn. I start pushing while on my back and I'm really not feeling I'm producing results. About 30-40 min into it I get to lay on my left side. When I start feeling a contraction coming on I grab my right leg, Tim grabs my right foot and I push hard for 10 seconds/3 times during each contraction.
I'm feeling the contractions enough where I have to try and breath through them because they are so painful.
I go back onto my back to finish pushing. Dr Graham comes in and is surprised how well my pushing is going and that Kaydriana is cresting. Tim is taking pictures since I can't see whats going on. Things progress and her head is out and Dr Graham tells me to stop pushing - oh wow was that painful!!! A few moments later Dr Graham says I just have one contraction to push and she'll be out so I push with all of my might and all of sudden a huge feeling of relief as she is taken out of my body. I just see a hand flying and her being taken away. Everything is a whirlwind. I'm crying and shaking and Tim is watching our daughter be wiped off. They bring her over to me, remove the top of my gown and I get to hold her skin to skin. I'm getting teary eyed just reliving that amazing moment. I get to lay there like that for 15 minutes or so while Tim is calling our parents and Dr Graham is stitching me up and working on getting the placenta out.
Kaydriana was born 5:42 PM, 9lbs and 2oz, 21.5 inches long. Over 24 hours of labor and about 1.5 hours of pushing...
Wow is all I can say. Tim says it was the coolest thing he had ever seen. I don't know if labor was what I expected, but becoming parents and meeting Kaydriana was far more amazing than I ever thought possible! We are so in love!

40 weeks continued...

So I had my appointment at 11 today. Since I'm sitting here typing this out, needless to say I'm not in labor.
It was cute, when I walked in, Krista (Dr Grahams assistant who I love!) said, "happy due date!". When Dr Graham came in I asked her about the possibility of stripping my membranes which is where she seperates the cervix from the sac. She told me she did that the last time I saw her. I had no clue! When I remember her last checking me I was only 1cm dilated and 0% effaced. She said that if my body isn't ready it isn't ready. So she checked and stripped me again. It makes sense now that when SHE "checks" me it always hurts and bleeds. When the nurse practitioners check me they only check me and it doesn't hurt.
Anyway, I'm still only about 2cm dilated and a bit softer than last check which was 50%. She didn't give me an exact percentage this time. So of course I was bummed with those results.
Then we went into what to expect next. I have a non-stress test on Friday morning. I guess that's normal to do when you're past your due date. Then assuming I'm still pregnant, I'll have another dr appt and non-stress test on Tuesday. She then told me that she is going to have Krista set up an induction date for late next week. So at least she'll be here by May 14th. But I'm still hoping she comes before Mothers Day!

40 weeks!

Here I am at 40 weeks!! Today is the day (that I should/could/wish) I was having my baby.Since I’ve caused confusion on what my due date is/was, I’ll explain it to you. I know exactly how many days my cycles are and the exact date of conception so according to my calculations, Kaydriana’s due date is 5/5. My doctor (like most) goes on the typical 28 day cycle and the date of my last period. So she has my due date down as 5/4. For a while there I was telling people my due date was 5/1 because at my first in depth ultra sound Kaydriana was measuring ahead of schedule: 5/1. Well, I then learned that those measurements don’t change my due date. So basically I’m choosing to go along with my doctors due date of 5/4 because I’m hoping that means Dr. Graham will induce me sooner than later.
I don’t particularly want to go through the process of being induced. From what I’ve heard getting chemically induced causes stronger contractions and because your body isn’t naturally progressing the process can be slower. However, if that’s what my doctor recommends, then I’m going to go for it. Especially if my body decides not to cooperate with going into labor naturally by a reasonable date.
Today I have an appointment with Doctor Graham. I was thinking of waiting to post my next post until after my appt, but in the hopes that I won’t have an opportunity to (cuz maybe I’ll be in the hospital? J) I decided to post this now and if I have a chance, I’ll post another one sharing the results of my latest appointment. I’m going to ask her about stripping my membranes to get labor started. There is no guarantee it will, but it worked for my sister so I’m crossing my fingers. I’m also going to ask her about scheduling an induction date. That way if I don’t go into labor on my own in a couple of days, perhaps I’ll have a particular date to focus on and look forward to.
The only upside to Kaydriana arriving later rather than sooner is the date I’d have to return to work. I’m taking 16 weeks paid time off. So if she’s isn’t born for another week then I’ll be out until Labor Day. However, I don’t know if my employees will survive me if I’m pregnant for much longer.
Can I just say I am proud of the fact that I have worked up until my due date!? I’ve only missed 2 full days of work my entire pregnancy!Below is a little something I put together based on some of the dumb questions or comments I have encountered during my pregnancy. I do have to say that for those who read my blog, I really haven’t been annoyed or offended by any of your comments. 90% of the below come from the people I work with that I don’t have a personal relationship with. Hence their comments/questions annoy me J
Tips on Surviving a Pregnant Woman
1. If you are not my friend or relative, please do not ask me if I intend to breast feed.
2. I don’t need you to point out that I look tired. I probably do, but I’m also thinking I look good today so by you pointing out I look tired makes me feel like my efforts of getting showered and make up on was futile.
3. Yes, I know my feet/ankles are swollen. Yes, they do hurt. Yes, I do put them up when I can, and No, my doctor is not concerned about toxemia.
4. Don’t ask me if I’m allowed to eat that. If I’m eating it, I’m eating it. Mind your own business.
5. If I’m not currently in a conversation with you regarding my pregnancy, please do not spit out unsolicited advice.
6. “You look huge!” is not a compliment and it’s not helpful. “You are glowing/beautiful/doing a great job” those are acceptable comments.
7. Not to sound ungrateful, but if you’re going to purchase something for me that’s not on the registry, a gift receipt is helpful. If I can’t use it, and can’t return it, then what else am I supposed to do with it?
8. If I share that I’m really ready to go into labor and hold my baby (AKA – cannot wait to no longer be pregnant) please don’t point out that my brother was 6 weeks late. Love you, but that is not helpful, mom!
9. If you are a co-worker or employee (someone I do not speak to on a personal level) I’d prefer not to share with you how each one of my doctors visits went.
10. If I tell you I’m feeling fine. I’m feeling fine. Do not ask, “Really? Are you sure?” If I wanted to go into more detail with you regarding how I’m feeling I will.
11. If you are not my friend or relative, do not ask me how much weight I’ve gained or I’ve developed stretch marks.
12. Never, under any circumstance is it appropriate to point out that it looks like I’m having twins. I’m pretty sure my regular check ups with my doctor would have determined that.
13. When I tell you that I haven’t slept in days, it is not helpful or supportive to say that that is Mother Nature’s way of preparing me to not sleep when baby is here. I’m tired now – I need sleep now.
14. If I showed up to work that means I’m still pregnant. Thanks for inquiring.
15. In general it’s always polite to hold the door open for a woman or if someone has only one grocery item in their cart behind you to let them go first. If it’s a pregnant woman, don’t be a jerk! My feet and back hurt and common courtesy would be so appreciated.
16. Yes, I am going for that second/third helpings. And yes, I do plan on working out to lose the baby weight.
17. If I don’t know you (or barely know you) please don’t ask if you can touch my belly. I really don’t want you to, but how do I tell you that without sounding like a you know what?

39 Weeks

39 weeks - I should be excited but with all the ups and downs over the last few days I'm feeling kinda numb. I was really hoping with my doctors appointment today I would be hearing a more confirmed time frame of when to expect Kaydriana. I know there are no guarantees but I was a little bummed that I'm only dilated to 2cm and still only 50% effaced especially with all of the excitement on Saturday.
I did get to see her pretty little face though so that's a good thing. She has big ol puffy cheeks like her mom did. The pictures are bad quality but they're better than nothing.

I really don't have anything else to share except I am ready to be a mommy and hold my little girl in my arms.

Oh and here is my 39 week photo: